Happy Birthday to You

Non-Sequiturs

Non-Sequiturs: 06.28.16

* A look back on this noteworthy Supreme Court term. Conservatives started the term with such high hopes, but those were dashed after the death of Justice Scalia. [Jost on Justice] * More Perfect, a podcast bringing the stories behind the highest court in the land to life. [RadioLab] * Review of the new book (affiliate link) that posits the Supreme Court's move to the right began with the Berger Court. [Washington Independent] * Yay! You can sing "happy birthday" in public! Thank you plaintiffs' bar! [TMZ] * Remember lawyers, clients are there for you to take care of, not the other way around. [Katz Justice] * Got a parking ticket? Maybe this robot lawyer can take care of it for you. [The Mirror] * An excellent source for in-house lawyers, and yes, it's free. Unless You Ask: A Guide For Law Departments to Get More From External Relationships [Association of Corporate Counsel]

By Kathryn Rubino
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 02.10.16

* Uh-oh! Martin Shkreli may have gotten more than he bargained for when he bought the one and only copy of the Wu-Tang Clan's "Once Upon a Time in Shaolin." An artist whose work appears on the album's packaging has filed a copyright infringement suit against the smug pharma bro. [WSJ Law Blog] * A Texas ADA was arrested this weekend for DWI after crashing into a parked car. According to police, it appeared as if she was trying to leave the scene. She's been a prosecutor for almost a year, and hasn't been put on a leave of absence for her alleged transgressions (yet). [FOX 7 Austin] * "I don't understand why donors should not donate money to the Law School because some moron, some racist decided to put black tape on some portraits." Some alumni (not this guy) are uncertain if they'll continue to donate to Harvard Law. [Harvard Crimson] * President Obama has proposed a cybersecurity plan that'll cost $19+ billion. Americans will learn how to better secure their accounts to prevent illegal hacks. That's a lot of cash to teach people not to use "123456" as their password. [Big Law Business / Bloomberg] * Have your birthday cake and eat it too, because the terms of Warner Music Group's "Happy Birthday to You" settlement have been disclosed, and up to $14 million is up for grabs for those who've had to pay licensing fees to use it. [L.A. Now / Los Angeles Times]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 12.10.15

* Robert Lewis Dear, the man accused in the Colorado Planned Parenthood shooting, had this outburst during a hearing yesterday: "I am guilty, there will be no trial. I am a warrior for the babies. You’ll never know the amount of blood I saw in that place." [CBS Denver] * The American Bar Association has approved the merger between William Mitchell Law and Hamline Law to form Mitchell|Hamline Law. Since law school mergers now seem to be a viable option, struggling schools may be able to find a way to survive instead of closing. [Pioneer Press] * In yesterday's affirmative action duel at the Supreme Court, Bert Rein of Wiley Rein and Gregory Garre of Latham & Watkins faced off for the second time in Fisher v. University of Texas: The Reckoning. Will SCOTUS kill AA this time? [WSJ Law Blog] * According to the Rhode Island Commission on Judicial Tenure and Discipline, Judge Rafael A. Ovalles brought his office into disrepute after sexually harassing a female court clerk and sitting in chambers with his hand in his underwear. [Providence Journal] * A settlement in the "Happy Birthday to You" copyright case has thrust the song into the public domain where it belongs. Now employees at chain restaurants across the country won't have to sing cheesy soundalike songs to birthday diners anymore. [Reuters]

By Staci Zaretsky
Morning Docket

Morning Docket: 09.23.15

* In a story we've been following for years, a federal judge has put down the most notorious copyright troll in the world: "Happy Birthday To You" is now in the public domain. [LA Times] * Former SMU Dean John Attanasio, hit with a prostitution arrest back in February, is looking at a pre-trial diversion program if he's willing to admit the charge. [CBS DFW] * Just weeks after his brother took over hosting duties on The Late Show, Edward Colbert has been named managing partner of Kenyon & Kenyon LLP. [Law360] * The Republic of Guinea may have to cough up a lot of guineas in unpaid legal fees to Dentons after Judge Royce Lamberth rejected its sovereign immunity request. [Legal Times] * Honestly, who doesn't bring a couple dildos along when visiting a Rent-A-Center? [Courthouse News Service] * Dewey know what horrors await law firm managers if convicted? It's more than a little troubling that a couple million people face this fate, but we only get glossy coverage of these conditions when some millionaire lawyers might end up there. [The Am Law Daily] * Gibson Dunn under fire for not keeping original notes of its Bridgegate interviews because defense lawyers don't know how these new-fangled "computer" things work. [The Record]

By Joe Patrice
Baseball

Non-Sequiturs: 08.06.13

* The Mars Curiosity rover played “Happy Birthday to You” to itself on the first anniversary of its landing on the Red Planet. It takes about 13 minutes for transmissions from Mars to reach the Earth. Time Warner sued NASA 14 minutes after Curiosity’s performance. [io9] * Fans of the Colorado Rockies… fans? Huh, okay! Anyway, the case posits that Rockies ticket holders should be allowed to sell them on the secondary market. If they can’t unload Rockies tickets, they may be forced to watch a team 11 games out of first place flounder. [Forbes] * Paul Rampell, Donald Trump’s lawyer, advocates for replacing marriages with leases with defined terms. It gives new meaning to “trading in for a new model.” The thrice married Trump nods approvingly. [Washington Post] * The Rumpus interviews Dean Frank H. Wu of UC Hastings. Turns out he’s writing “a bad trashy novel.” So it probably won’t make the 25 Greatest Law Novels ever list. But then again, they put The Fountainhead on that list, so don’t give up hope, Dean Wu! [The Rumpus] * Poetry Corner: Kenneth Branagh Prepares Evidence For Trial. So long as he’s not preparing to direct another awful Thor movie, I’m fine. [Poetic Justice] * Just what do Americans even want from an energy policy? That Cuisinart fusion reactor from Back to the Future, that’s what. [Breaking Energy] * A defendant called a judge “Hon,” and it did not go well. I wonder what Judge Montes gets called at the club? [Sun Sentinel] * Anthony Weiner once explained that he was “inspired” by a book about a lawyer who wants to cheat on his wife. Indeed. [BuzzFeed]

By Joe Patrice
Copyright

Non-Sequiturs: 06.14.13

* Marshall University is no longer a defendant in a case about a student shooting bottle rockets out of his anus. So from now on your sum total knowledge of the Thundering Herd involves the movie We Are Marshall and “shooting bottle rockets out of anuses.” [West Virginia Record] * Documentary filmmaker files suit seeking declaratory judgment that “Happy Birthday to You” is in the public domain. Why hasn’t everyone just accepted Larry Lessig’s new birthday song? [New York Times] * Men tend to think professional dress is one part white/blue shirt and one part brown/black/navy slacks. There’s more to it than that. Well, if you want to look good at all, there’s more to it than that. [Corporette] * Market realities catch up with law school plans. Pour a little out for the proposed Arlington Law School. [ARL Now] * Rough legal question: Should the U.S. refuse to send a child to a country employing Islamic family law? [Volokh Conspiracy] * A federal judge ordered HHS to give a little girl a lung transplant. Popehat wonders who lost out on a transplant in this exchange. I’m wondering why there aren’t more lung donors out there. [Popehat]

By Joe Patrice